Passion is murder
I’ve been in a war between passion and paycheck almost as long as I can remember. To want something so badly no matter what tightly wound prim and proper is difficult. What gets you through the day when you are blistered and aggravated? Is it the thoughts of how your work benefits others? Is it the doors that can be opened by the one who causes all your labor miseries?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
things that piss me off
people wh ofake a happy mairrage and sneak around with affairs
people who backstab their sisters and marry child molestors
green day
me being a liar
drug heads who get social secrurity when people with needs due to cancer or alzheimers cant
people who backstab their sisters and marry child molestors
green day
me being a liar
drug heads who get social secrurity when people with needs due to cancer or alzheimers cant
Friday, July 3, 2009
summer frustrations
no I do not miss you
not one bit
you may not have been my reason to leave
but you most certainly are not a good reason to stay
I refuse to replace my broken phone because I'm happy here
all nice and Isolated
you cannot harm me
well ...by harm i mean talk
and Its great to realize thatm y last two years living with you my weekends will never be spent at home with the exception of band season
just fucking peachy!!!!!!
not one bit
you may not have been my reason to leave
but you most certainly are not a good reason to stay
I refuse to replace my broken phone because I'm happy here
all nice and Isolated
you cannot harm me
well ...by harm i mean talk
and Its great to realize thatm y last two years living with you my weekends will never be spent at home with the exception of band season
just fucking peachy!!!!!!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
urgh.....came to the computer lab...staying through lunch...because.....well it pisses me off...i hate being here....wait what's today? cday! yeah baby i can stay through lunch!!!!@! I hate being at lunch they cannot make me go ....they can't they just cant...ooooh mr. sibley be angry...i hope i have nothing to do with this.......hehehehe....blah./...what's on my mind....wow...not a lot...i hate most of my friends....colorguard and dance twirl today..whoowhoo....unless they're irritating and then i shall make them go boohoo...because they fucking piss me off that's all they do...they piss me off....
wow i've been in the computer lab for almost an hour reading foxnews.com and other variopus angry rants and conservative punk stuff
wow i've been in the computer lab for almost an hour reading foxnews.com and other variopus angry rants and conservative punk stuff
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
True Happiness
This is Spiffyjoss asking you...what is true happiness? is it us being content with who we are? is it finding the "one" which to this day will never make any sense to me
>>>> Touching base on the one.....do we really only have one true person to be with...because that makes no sense what so ever to me..... if we do ....does that make us right for them too? its lies...all of the cosmopolitan views on finding the right one...making up...breaking up...getting married...its lies that's all it ever will me....
Any way...back to true happiness....i know i'm one of the most one dimensional people...i'm not empathetic at all.....and i have no desire to be empathetic because...well quite frankly i don't care...i've actually just recently diagnosed myself with anthro-rage-disorde....or a sever anger with humanity....is it truely to be happy in our phsicotic ridiculous world full of robots? I think not!!!!! and even if we do find a place in our lives that we're actually content with we will never survive it ....ever .....ever ever!!!!!! we dont want it once we have it and once we lose it we want it...hah hah hah! not I! i need to go beyond the lines...i need to prove all of these lies wrong!
because ...this morning i discovered something amazing....In order for me to be happy I must be myself ...correct? you can't be happy being someone you are not...and if you are is it really happiness? i mean i'm sure if you fake it long enough it's who you become ...honestly...in order for me to be happy i have to be myself and i can't do that when i'm in a relationship because my personality is completely one hundered percent fueled by rage...sarcasm...anger...well everything...and without that what am i left with?
all i'll A significant other who will most likely ruin my life anyway!!!! i'm hopeless completerly and totally hopeless.........so what do i do? i come up with brilliant ideas like trying to turn a jewish kid into a nazi!!!!! do you know how disgusting it was pretending to like dogs for a guy? or to act like i'm "down to earth" yeah...its horrible...and at this point whatever i do ...someone is unhappy and i don't care anymore....
I am an angry person....but the irony is...in order for me to be happy i have to be who i really am and who i really am is not a happy person it's fueled by inner rage...and if i go to therapy for this they'll make me stop being angry and put me on some sort of medication and I most definately will be miserable! What am I to do????? Either way I'm unhappy ...because if i'm who i really am i'm a loner with no friends....but quite recently i've been ok with that because most people who were or are or could be my friends are all two faced skanks who deserve no more mercy from me other than i lovely red line going accross their neck!!!! and i happen to like this whole slutty whore act...it's working for me....i can do whatever i want with whoever i want and as lonng as i have a heart of stone i cannot get hurt in any way what so ever.....which leads me to my other little project....
>>>>>>>>>>>>> OPERATION HOOKUP!!!!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
The question i am solving...now keep in mind my ex was one of the best kissers....but he had ...acne...backne...he was a skinny whore....he was probably gay....and he had horrible taste in music...he also didnt have much kissing experience...so was he born with the gift? or was it that he let me do all the work so it wasn't like kissing a fucking robot....so i take my subject and see if i can actually train him ...to well...not be such a horrible maker-outer. if possible.....
HEY ZEUS!!!! I HATE MY LIFE!
but that's ok....because this is the spark that makes me the firey individual that i am...i just have to tough it out a little longer before my evil plotting go into action....this is why i don't have relationships...my breakups become these massive creations of the deamons within me that make me just....a psycotic bitch!!!!!
you know what else pisses me off???
Obama's F^(#!#% kool-aid drinking pastor rev. Lowry little speech black in the back brown stick around....ok so the day after mlk jr. day when a fucking african american was voted for by a million white people was all for nothing...we're all still racist little whities...well i know i am but i'm not talking to me....there's a lot more ghetto trash by blacks being played on the radio than there is of white people...there's a black man for president ...and more black people commit crimes than whire people....and white needs to do what's right...and we're the ghetto ones .... this ones for you mother fuckers.,...yay we have our happy happy world full of change and spreading the wealth../.because capitalism is just so mean isnt it???? it's just so cruel that people who work harder make more money because we're all equals and we should all have the same....ok i could run the country ...but for starters...i wouldnt fucking bue the fucking robin hood taking money from the hard workers just so some minum wage
>>>> Touching base on the one.....do we really only have one true person to be with...because that makes no sense what so ever to me..... if we do ....does that make us right for them too? its lies...all of the cosmopolitan views on finding the right one...making up...breaking up...getting married...its lies that's all it ever will me....
Any way...back to true happiness....i know i'm one of the most one dimensional people...i'm not empathetic at all.....and i have no desire to be empathetic because...well quite frankly i don't care...i've actually just recently diagnosed myself with anthro-rage-disorde....or a sever anger with humanity....is it truely to be happy in our phsicotic ridiculous world full of robots? I think not!!!!! and even if we do find a place in our lives that we're actually content with we will never survive it ....ever .....ever ever!!!!!! we dont want it once we have it and once we lose it we want it...hah hah hah! not I! i need to go beyond the lines...i need to prove all of these lies wrong!
because ...this morning i discovered something amazing....In order for me to be happy I must be myself ...correct? you can't be happy being someone you are not...and if you are is it really happiness? i mean i'm sure if you fake it long enough it's who you become ...honestly...in order for me to be happy i have to be myself and i can't do that when i'm in a relationship because my personality is completely one hundered percent fueled by rage...sarcasm...anger...well everything...and without that what am i left with?
all i'll A significant other who will most likely ruin my life anyway!!!! i'm hopeless completerly and totally hopeless.........so what do i do? i come up with brilliant ideas like trying to turn a jewish kid into a nazi!!!!! do you know how disgusting it was pretending to like dogs for a guy? or to act like i'm "down to earth" yeah...its horrible...and at this point whatever i do ...someone is unhappy and i don't care anymore....
I am an angry person....but the irony is...in order for me to be happy i have to be who i really am and who i really am is not a happy person it's fueled by inner rage...and if i go to therapy for this they'll make me stop being angry and put me on some sort of medication and I most definately will be miserable! What am I to do????? Either way I'm unhappy ...because if i'm who i really am i'm a loner with no friends....but quite recently i've been ok with that because most people who were or are or could be my friends are all two faced skanks who deserve no more mercy from me other than i lovely red line going accross their neck!!!! and i happen to like this whole slutty whore act...it's working for me....i can do whatever i want with whoever i want and as lonng as i have a heart of stone i cannot get hurt in any way what so ever.....which leads me to my other little project....
>>>>>>>>>>>>> OPERATION HOOKUP!!!!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
The question i am solving...now keep in mind my ex was one of the best kissers....but he had ...acne...backne...he was a skinny whore....he was probably gay....and he had horrible taste in music...he also didnt have much kissing experience...so was he born with the gift? or was it that he let me do all the work so it wasn't like kissing a fucking robot....so i take my subject and see if i can actually train him ...to well...not be such a horrible maker-outer. if possible.....
HEY ZEUS!!!! I HATE MY LIFE!
but that's ok....because this is the spark that makes me the firey individual that i am...i just have to tough it out a little longer before my evil plotting go into action....this is why i don't have relationships...my breakups become these massive creations of the deamons within me that make me just....a psycotic bitch!!!!!
you know what else pisses me off???
Obama's F^(#!#% kool-aid drinking pastor rev. Lowry little speech black in the back brown stick around....ok so the day after mlk jr. day when a fucking african american was voted for by a million white people was all for nothing...we're all still racist little whities...well i know i am but i'm not talking to me....there's a lot more ghetto trash by blacks being played on the radio than there is of white people...there's a black man for president ...and more black people commit crimes than whire people....and white needs to do what's right...and we're the ghetto ones .... this ones for you mother fuckers.,...yay we have our happy happy world full of change and spreading the wealth../.because capitalism is just so mean isnt it???? it's just so cruel that people who work harder make more money because we're all equals and we should all have the same....ok i could run the country ...but for starters...i wouldnt fucking bue the fucking robin hood taking money from the hard workers just so some minum wage
Friday, January 16, 2009
people
well since my life generally sucks i'm going to persist to sit here....and type....and hopefully....eventually my life won't suck as much.....what am i to do with myself...i want to make movies....which noone will watch because everyone hates me....i can't have my friends anymore.....dont we get this??????? if im nice to people it may lead to friendship which will lead to another....andrew situation....which still pisses me off!!!!! i hate people and i can't believe i forgot about that for 9 months...what sucks is normally when a breakup takes place people....like focus on all the bad things that took place...but i was fucking happy.....its now that my life sucks......any amount of sanity that i had people convinced i had...well ...it was lost...in like 10 minutes...isnt that peachy....but thats exactly what i'm good at being phsyco....so maybe i should play on that...idk...im not going to that damn concert tonight...im so sick of everyone ...they all piss me off....at least i can dance :P hehehehehe i'm going home to hula hoop....wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee damn i hate my life so much
as long as i keep my expectations of the people low...i cannot be disappointed....ever ...ever...ever
just remember...people suck jocelyn and you cannot give in...ever ever ever ever again...they're all out to ruin you.......they're not worth your time....just remember that...you don't love....and you dont need anyone...go home...drink some coffee and forget about them.....well...
as long as i keep my expectations of the people low...i cannot be disappointed....ever ...ever...ever
just remember...people suck jocelyn and you cannot give in...ever ever ever ever again...they're all out to ruin you.......they're not worth your time....just remember that...you don't love....and you dont need anyone...go home...drink some coffee and forget about them.....well...
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